Here again!

Hello all,

  As I was looking over my blogs today, the second to last post was October 6th and it dealt with my feeling distant from God, and how I got back on the right track.  Well, somehow about 4 months later, I find myself in the same boat.  How did this happen, you might ask?

  First of all, I think it's easy to feel distant with you fall out of your regular routine.  We didn't go to our church for about 5 or 6 weeks in a row due to holiday travels, and that really took a toll on our lives.  Also, we stopped putting in the time and effort to pursue a deeper relationship with God.  It's just like any other relationship in the regards that if I completely ignored my wife for 6 weeks, you can bet we'd have some issues to work over! It's silly of us to think our relationship with God is any different.  I've heard it compared to maintaining your car as well. If prayer is the battery of your car, and studying the Word is the fuel, you'll only go so far until it's time to replenish or else you'll find yourself on the spiritual side of the road. 

  I don't like to be spooky spiritual, but we can fall victim to our adversary at any time as well.  I like to think about my faith as a strong, impregnable wall that can stand against any raiding party or attack.  If there's no defects in the wall, everything should be fine.  If a stone is missing because I haven't maintained my wall, it would be much easier to tug on that hole in the wall and eventually pull the whole thing down.

 So how did I get back this time?  Once again, it was a gradual and multi-step process.  It began with recognizing there was a problem.  I told myself everything would be back to normal once we got back in the routine of church and worship.  This certainly helped, but by no means did it solve the problem. 

  In my "distant days" I experienced more animosity in my life in general, and even doubts about the God I know and love.  I came to the point about a month ago that I realized somewhere along the line I had lost the feeling in my faith.  I felt like I had too much knowledge, and not enough emotion.  That night on my drive home I laid it all out to God, and got real and honest with Him.  Believe me, He's big enough to take it- plus He already knows it!  It's very cathartic to be open and honest.  That is where He can begin to transform your heart again.

  I prayed for feeling, and passion in my life again, and the desire to seek Him in all that I do.  This also helped, but it was not the end of my journey.

 I remained in this spiritual state of mind for about 3 weeks.  Around this point, I began reading my Grandpa in Law's book, When God Turned Off the Lights, by Cecil Murphey.  Reading about his struggles and so called "dark and starless night", I got several ideas on how to help myself out of the pit.  I am not quite finished with it, but certainly recommend it to anyone feeling distant from God.

 Last weekend's sermon began to chip at my heart and mind too.  Our pastor spoke on finding contentment and comfort in God.  He reminded us that if we place our joy in our eternal salvation through Jesus, the little stuff that life throws at us shouldn't shake us.  If we find contentment in life due to God's grace, and don't let the outcome of each situation determine our happiness, we can actually be content!

   That night I read about how we are called to praise God and rejoice in all circumstances.  This is a biggie, and I wasn't doing this at all! I read that my Grandpa in Law's book how he would force himself to come up with 5 or 10 things every morning that he was genuinely thankful for.  He would then actually thank God for the gifts and blessings.  It's really difficult to feel sorry for yourself and complain about your circumstances when we look at all we have.

  Monday night of this week, my wife and I were hanging out and she gave me the figurative kick in the butt I needed.  I am so blessed to have her in my life, and more times than I can count, God has used her to teach me a lesson.  We talked about what we were both feeling, and how we'd both been in the dumps spiritually.  It is my job as the head of the household to be our spiritual leader as well.  I was doing a terrible job at this, and once I realized the effect it was having on her, I knew I had to change.  I made her a promise to make more of an effort, and with God's help get back to the relationship I once had with God.  I of course should have been motivated to work on it simply because I knew I was letting God down, but I had to hear that I was failing my wife to make me change.

  All this week we have read the Bible together, and I have noticed a real change.

  Wednesday of this week I had an awesome conversation with my mom about my faith and struggles, and I got off the phone so excited and encouraged!  I went and met with some of the guys from my men's group and that was the icing on the cake.  I got home that night and happily told Christy that I was back and my faith and relationship with God had been restored!

 I certainly intend to keep up with my spiritual maintenance this time so I won't have to re-write this blog in 4 months! I am sure this won't be the last time I feel in a spiritual rut, but thankfully God is patient and He has never ending grace!

 Thanks for reading and God bless!